The Predator

I almost forgot to review this movie because I tried to immediately forget it. Because this is one dumb fucking movie. It is so stupid I am seething with rage.

How is it that Shane Black can make Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and then make this monstrosity of idiocracy? At least that’s an enjoyable movie. Everything from the slip slide editing to one of the worst scripts I’ve ever heard, The Predator is a master class in why the fuck did this get made.

The CGI is awful. The jokes…god bless Keegan Michael-Key for trying to deliver them…would make your racist uncle cringe. The dialogue is hellacious levels of bad. A character yells “Get to the choppers!” And they grab motorcycles. The original Predator was fun because it wasn’t trying to be silly. That was the 80s, unintentional silliness happened everywhere. We all know when a movie is trying to be silly now. Especially if it’s a goddamn sequel that has zero to no terror.

Let it die. Let it die die die. Alien vs predator should’ve killed it. If you couldn’t make that good, why bother making anything else?

0 out of 4 stars.

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