Game of Thrones: Season 8

WARNING, EVERYTHING BEYOND THIS POINT WILL BE SPOILERS.

 

Well, that was disappointing, wasn’t it? The final season of the (maybe) last show the entirety of America watched together landed on ice and skidded off the runway. Thrones has been a powerhouse, and rightfully so. The books are so intricately plotted that the author can’t even finish them because he goes off on too many tangents. And the show did a righteous job following him at first.

Well, some of the show was righteous right up until the end. Bravo to special effects, costuming, and cinematography. Ya’ll are the real heroes.

Thankfully, I can describe exactly what was wrong with this season. Because I personally do not disagree with any of the choices made by the filmmakers per se (I could have used a few more character deaths and a few more happening differently). Everything that happens has been set up beforehand, which makes the show fairly logical in it’s conclusion. It also makes it boring. Were there any deaths that surprised you this season? Like the Red Wedding did? No, because they were telegraphed very far in advance like a small child telling you he’s going to hit you in the arm. What if Jaime had died defending Brienne? Now, that would be something that makes sense based on our previous knowledge of the character, but it’d be a crazy twist! Because technically, he is doing something new.

That aside, the season’s biggest flaw was pacing. Since the filmmakers knew where they wanted to go and how to get there, they figured out how to do it as quickly as possible. And the show suffered greatly for it. I’m honestly convinced that HBO was tired of spending the money on the show and just wanted the sweet residual cash to start flowing. Because they shrunk at least two seasons worth of material into a half season.

Even one full season would have been better! That way, the Night King would have gotten some more screen time instead of going out like a bitch. My girlfriend suggested that he should have bypassed Winterfell. How crazy would that have been? But nope, pretty much everything that happened was told to you way in advance.

Which means that a show built on subverting narrative tropes and heroes, ends up fulfilling them all in a shortened schedule. There’s nothing wrong with the traditional heroes’ narrative, but it becomes so obvious what it is when you speed up the time frame. The result? A show that bounces from spotlight to spotlight making characters make choices they should really justify further, and killing off an appropriate amount of people. And with the amount of foreshadowing involved with Dany’s “turn into evil” I can’t even call that a twist. All in all, unsatisfying to a disconcerting degree, because it was so satisfying for so long.

1 out of 4 stars

 

Now to get nitpicky:

  • Bran. How much of a storyteller move is that? The most important person is the one who can tell the greatest story. Only a writer would think of something that dumb.
  • How the fuck is Bronn? That’s the question. How the fuck…. I don’t even know. He just says hi to Jaime and Tyrion, gets promised Highgarden and then becomes master of coin? IS there no one else?! Why did he get so much plot armor? Forever confused by this.
  • The unsullied are so dumb. So are the dothraki. As soon as the governments retake control, you can bet that both of those people groups are going to get slaughtered. ALSO, there should only be 24 of them left after the Night King’s attack on Winterfell. That was a terrible episode in terms of actually explaining how many people died to the Night King, because it sure looked like way more than that!
  • I heard that Lena Headey got paid $1million dollars an episode this season. What a boss.
  • Why couldn’t there have been another meaningful death? Why did Yara just completely fuck off until the final ten minutes?
  • Speaking of the representation there: why would they accept rule from King’s Landing but Winterfell shouldn’t? They’re both being run by Starks so what’s the difference? Sansa, do you really think the Northmen will want to have their own kingdom to themselves when they just conquered one? Preposterous.

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