The Hitman’s Bodyguard

There’s a little test I like to run on comedies. Since I’m a hoity-toity knowitall, I have an exaggerated sense of self worth and importance. Ergo, I get to judge movies more harshly because I’m better than them. But I realize that’s not always fair. So here’s what I do: I watch movies with my parents.

In between the constant comments, and asking questions about what just happened, something wonderful happens: they show me what it means to truly enjoy a film.

Here’s the set-up: Samuel L. Jackson is a motherfuckin’ tough guy hitman. Ryan Reynolds is a smarmy bodyguard who used to protect people Samuel L. Jackson used to kill. Now, Reynolds has to protect Jackson because he has information that could indict a dictator.

Throw in some decent action and an R rating and you’ve got yourself a movie.

Maybe the dialogue is bad. You wouldn’t know it because these two actors are hilarious. Just thinking about Sam Jackson saying “bitch” makes me smile. Watching them wise crack their way through bad guy skulls is hilarious to me. Makes me all the more excited for Deadpool 2.

It’s way too long, probably because they cast Gary Oldman as the bad guy and wanted to actually, you know, use him. And the sideplot of Ryan Reynold’s girlfriend could probably be completely cut.

But, as my parents’ chortles of laughter attest, it’s a funny movie. And a damn enjoyable one. Not the greatest, but a great Redbox rental.

3 out of 4 stars.

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