The Losers

I remember being younger and actually wanting to see this movie when it came out.

How fucking dumb was I? Because this movie is awful.

Thank god it’s fallen out of everyone’s collective conscious besides my brother’s DVD collection. It’s a trainwreck of dumb Michael Bay explosions and dialogue without any of the unearned swagger that actually propels Michael Bay films.

The orange washout is ubiquitous. The characters thin as a wheat. And Zoe Saldana is in it. Those are the only three reasons you need not to watch it, but there are plenty more.

The only saving grace? Chris Evans, who is legitimately funny. I remember the times when Chris Evans was the wisecracker before they ruined him by making him duller than skim milk as Captain America.

Don’t see this movie, don’t even think about this movie. I’m sorry I even brought it up.

0 out of 4 stars.

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